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January 2019
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Obama Adds Mystery To Interrogation Team

MysteryWashington (PFM): Erik von Markovik starts a new job Monday as associate director in the National Security Council’s revamped terrorism interrogation division, focused on devising new techniques for extracting information from the most recalcitrant suspects.

Markovik, whose stage name is Mystery, is a preeminent expert within the seduction community and touts himself as “the world’s greatest pick-up artist.” He is most known for his Mystery Method seduction seminars and the VH1 reality series “The Pick-up Artist.”

Using showmanship to “seduce” confessions from uncooperative targets is not a new idea as anyone who has watched television crime dramas can attest. But the implementation of this form of seduction in this venue is a novel strategy.

The Neg: “That car bomb was a pretty effective killing machine … for an amateur.”

“I promised a new direction from the last eight years,” Obama reminded a gathering of reporters before boarding Marine One on Tuesday, “The Mystery Method: attraction, comfort and seduction … these are techniques, I’m sure, that will better protect America without alienating us in the world.”

Mystery’s contribution to the team will be primarily as an advisor. His methods, although not previously tested on terrorists, are expected to include such techniques as ‘peacocking,’ and ‘negging.’
. . . Read on »

Obama: Elves Can’t Solve This Crisis

Washington (PFM): President Obama yesterday admitted that elves can’t solve our crisis.

“We can’t rely on elves to solve a crisis that Washington has failed to solve for decades,” Obama insisted before a Rose Garden ceremony.

“Change will not come if we wait for elves or some other benevolent beings from Middle Earth to change our fortunes. We are the change that we seek.”

Geithner: “I probably can’t help with this crisis either.”

In a speaking event held later in the day before the International Brotherhood of Grocers, Obama made clear that he has abandoned any hope of elfin help with this terrible crisis.

“When we think of our past, as a nation, as a people, the first thoughts to come to mind are disappointment and frustration. If we seek elfin support with each new crisis, we are merely pushing the problems out to our children.”

The President went on, “Let me remind the American people, the current crisis is not of my making. But I will take on this challenge without the help of elves.” . . . Read on »

More Bad Paintings Of Barack Obama

Bad Paintings of Barack Obama
If you thought the ‘Paintings of Obama with Unicorns‘ site was just too weird, too disrespectful, or too emotionally touching to endure, perhaps you’ll be more enchanted with this feature from iamchriscollins:

Bad Paintings Of Barack Obama

When you get to the site, click the pics to move forward. Enjoy!

Obama & Unicorns

obama-painting2Many P-Free Fans® have contacted us to ask, “Where can I find posters of President Obama naked with unicorns?

Some were more specific, “If I have a hankering for a picture of Obama, Stalin, a Unicorn, and Hugh Laurie all together what resources do I have other than peering into my own twisted mind?

Well P-Free Friends®, your search is over. We have scoured the limits of human imagination and found a site that gives you what you yearn for.


Puppet Free Tees
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