Puppet Free Media

“Humidity” Makes McDeke a Hot Commodity

Jake M — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 08:30:07 +0000

Director Butler McDeke is no favorite of critics. But “BM,” as he’s called on set, is no fan of critics either. His latest directorial effort, “Humidity: Nights of Terror,” is set to release this weekend. Starring Tig Fiels, Brittnee Anzgt, and buff bad-boy Van Paynze, the film is the last installment in the “Water Particles Trilogy.”

The Terrifying Truth About Trash, Toilets And More

Jake M — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 18:43:07 +0000

According to germ experts, your toilet may actually be much dirtier than it looks.

Scientists at the University of Colorado have released the results of a multi-million dollar study that proves bacteria flourish in places most people would never imagine. The list includes six surprising, germ-breeding spots that might make you run for the doors.

Toilets, no place for a drink That glistening toilet could be filled to the brim with the finest sparkling champagne, but germs have [...]

Starbucks “Taking It To The Streets”

Jake M — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 21:59:18 +0000

Recession’s Victims: Underemployed Geniuses Struggle To Be Heard This story from Jake M is part of an ongoing PFM series on the emotional toll underemployment has taken on our recession stricken workforce

By Jake M

Ava Campos readies herself before a full size mirror in her bedroom. At 5:00 a.m. she is not sure if she can handle the day.

“I’m too good for this,” Ava reminds herself. “God I hate stupid people.”

Miss Campos is part of a new [...]

Heavily Marketed Action Pic Expected To Do Well

Jake M — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 06:35:52 +0000

Hollywood (PFM):

That movie you wanted to see opened this weekend to rave reviews and long lines.

The intelligent, intense non-stop thrill ride, starring that arrogant asshole that can’t keep his fucking dick in his pants when it comes to other men’s wives, is expected to make over $100 million this weekend.

Dressed in attire worn by the trilogy’s most recognizable characters, fans of all ages lined up early. Some theaters reported seeing costume clad losers gathering outside [...]

Obama Adds Mystery To Interrogation Team

Jake M — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 05:59:54 +0000

“I promised a new direction from the last eight years,” Obama reminded a gathering of reporters before boarding Marine One on Tuesday, “The Mystery Method: attraction, comfort and seduction … these are techniques, I’m sure, that will better protect America without alienating us in the world.” Mystery’s contribution to the team will be primarily as an advisor. His methods, although not previously tested on terrorists, are expected to include such techniques as ‘peacocking,’ and ‘negging.’

!—– BREAKING NEWS —–!

Jake M — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 06:42:53 +0000

Boy Fingered in Smelting Incident

Centerville (PFM): The source of an exceptionally heinous attack on the olfactory senses a few moments ago has been uncovered.

Other boys who witnessed the event used sound logic, a keen sense of smell, and reliance on the ages old adage of “he who smelt it dealt it,” to identify the perpetrator of the malodorous emanation as none other than Ethan Gholston, age 11, of 358 Main St. in Centerville.

The culprit was [...]