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February 2019
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Shooting Tops Stabbing In Preference Poll

(PFM): As anyone who has ever been held captive at knife-point will tell you, stabbing is not the way you want to go.

A recent national telephone survey found that many people fear being stabbed more than they fear being shot. The poll was funded by The National Knife and Sword Council which seeks to better the image of cutting utensils among Americans.

64% of those surveyed cited death by terrorist attack as their favorite form of death.

Only 13% of American adults believe that being shot would be more horrendous than being stabbed. Many of those attribute their feelings to the assumption that they are more likely to die from bullet wounds than stab wounds – thus avoiding the excruciating pain from their wounds.

Nearly all of the respondents, even those that preferred it, were aghast at the prospect of feeling the steely cold metal of a sharp blade penetrating their tissues and organs.

When it comes to homicide, stabbing always comes out at the bottom of the list. A strike to the head with a hammer, strangling, being run over, even being thrown from a building or airplane were not enough to coax people to favor stabbing.

Only being held under water until the point of death seemed likely to overtake stabbing on the list of fears. About 24% of those asked ranked being drowned higher than being shot.
. . . Read on »

Grocery Store Averts Famine By Stocking More Food

Centerville (PFM): A famine may have been narrowly avoided by a weekend delivery of fresh fruits, condiments and cereal products to Sully’s Pantry, a local supermarket.

A source with intimate knowledge of store operations, who has requested anonymity, stated that an overnight blitz of store activity has greatly reduced the imminence of a widespread famine for at least a week.

Fear within the community has been pervasive after a rumor circulated claiming that Sully’s bread aisle was nearly empty. “The only white bread left was a smashed package of Mrs. Baird’s,” shopper CeeCee Aames reported.

Although specialty whole grain loaves and assorted rolls, buns and raisin bread were found in abundance, the scarcity of nature’s most necessary foodstuff, white bread, sent shockwaves through the community.

Aames further reported that the only Tater Tots to be found were “those nasty store brand ones that taste like greasy poop. And forget about the cottage cheese; it was that non-fat health food junk.”

Sully’s has taken steps that will reduce the likelihood of short-term food shortages. Check out lines have been slowed to a snail’s pace in an effort to discourage hording, while the deli continues to stock product long after its natural expiration date in order to ensure the cases remain full.

. . . Read on »

Ever Dream This Man?


Frankly, this dude’s kinda creepy looking. But apparently he’s going around the world visiting people in their dreams.

These researchers want to get in touch with him. So if you’ve encountered this face in a dream, be sure to give them a call.

Good Luck!

This Man1This Man 2
. . . Read on »

Cat Found!

Found on the internet. Damn! That is one ugly cat.

CatFound(click the pic to zoom)

I'm Going To Be a Bitch To You ...

Found on the internet. Damn! This is one obnoxious bitch.
But as she kindly points out: “i’m going to be a bitch to you .. unlike i am to most … ugly slut.”

I don’t know, but I’ve been told, when you use a small ‘i’ to refer to yourself, it’s because you have low self-esteem.
But hey, I’m no psychologist.

(click the pic to zoom)

More Bad Paintings Of Barack Obama

Bad Paintings of Barack Obama
If you thought the ‘Paintings of Obama with Unicorns‘ site was just too weird, too disrespectful, or too emotionally touching to endure, perhaps you’ll be more enchanted with this feature from iamchriscollins:

Bad Paintings Of Barack Obama

When you get to the site, click the pics to move forward. Enjoy!

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