This article was originally run on Aug 5, 2009

(PFM): As anyone who has ever been held captive at knife-point will tell you, stabbing is not the way you want to go.

A recent national telephone survey found that many people fear being stabbed more than they fear being shot. The poll was funded by The National Knife and Sword Council which seeks to better the image of cutting utensils among Americans.

Only 13% of American adults believe that being shot would be more horrendous than being stabbed. Many of those attribute their feelings to the assumption that they are more likely to die from bullet wounds than stab wounds – thus avoiding the excruciating pain from their wounds.

Nearly all of the respondents, even those that preferred it, were aghast at the prospect of feeling the steely cold metal of a sharp blade penetrating their tissues and organs.

When it comes to homicide, stabbing always comes out at the bottom of the list. A strike to the head with a hammer, strangling, being run over, even being thrown from a building or airplane were not enough to coax people to favor stabbing.

Only being held under water until the point of death seemed likely to overtake stabbing on the list of fears. About 24% of those asked ranked being drowned higher than being shot.
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This article was originally run on Jul 26, 2009

Centerville, July 27 (PFM): A famine may have been narrowly avoided by a weekend delivery of fresh fruits, condiments and cereal products to Sully’s Pantry, a local supermarket.

A source with intimate knowledge of store operations, who has requested anonymity, stated that an overnight blitz of store activity has greatly reduced the imminence of a widespread famine for at least a week.

Fear within the community has been pervasive after a rumor circulated claiming that Sully’s bread aisle was nearly empty. “The only white bread left was a smashed package of Mrs. Baird’s,” shopper CeeCee Aames reported.

Although specialty whole grain loaves and assorted rolls, buns and raisin bread were found in abundance, the scarcity of nature’s most necessary foodstuff, white bread, sent shockwaves through the community.

Aames further reported that the only Tater Tots to be found were “those nasty store brand ones that taste like greasy poop. And forget about the cottage cheese; it was that non-fat health food junk.”

Sully’s has taken steps that will reduce the likelihood of short-term food shortages. Check out lines have been slowed to a snail’s pace in an effort to discourage hording, while the deli continues to stock product long after its natural expiration date in order to ensure the cases remain full.

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This article was originally run on Aug 3, 2009

According to germ experts, your toilet may actually be much dirtier than it looks.

Scientists at the University of Colorado have released the results of a multi-million dollar study that proves bacteria flourish in places most people would never imagine. The list includes six surprising, germ-breeding spots that might make you run for the doors.

Toilets, no place for a drink
That glistening toilet could be filled to the brim with the finest sparkling champagne, but germs have no concept of quality. From the lowliest hovel to the grandest mansion, toilets are disgusting wherever you go.

So don’t even think of taking a sip. “No matter how nice the bathroom looks, there are 3 million microbes per inch in a toilet,” said Blake Hsu, PhD, a professor of microbiology at UC Boulder.

That’s trash, not treasure
And if you were thinking of eating your next meal from the garbage, forget about it. Trash cans, packed with stale food, mucous-filled tissues, and remnants of last night’s love-making session may seem clean. But beware.

Those discarded leftovers are dirtier than they look. The population of microbes in a kitchen trash receptacle might not be as high as a toilet, but the variety is staggering. The combination of proteins, fatty acids, fermentation, and warm moisture are like a buffet for microorganisms.

Pet pellets are not playthings
As much as they love their pet, many cat owners would be surprised to learn the litter box is not a place to let the kids play. Toxoplasmosis parasites are not the kind of playmates you want your child making friends with.

But don’t laugh dog owners. It probably isn’t a good idea to wrap your lunch in used doggy duty bags either. A gram of dog feces is crawling with 20 million E. coli cells. So go ahead and spring for a Ziploc sandwich bag. Those extra pennies may just save your life. . . . Read on »