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February 2019
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Humidity Makes McDeke a Hot Commodity

HumidityHollywood (PFM): Director Butler McDeke is no favorite of critics. But “BM,” as he’s called on set, is no fan of critics either.

His latest directorial effort, “Humidity: Nights of Terror,” is set to release this weekend. Starring Tig Fiels, Brittnee Anzgt, and buff bad-boy Van Paynze, the film is the last installment in the “Water Particles Trilogy.”

Reviewers have ridiculed the new sequel about lurking moisture-borne particulates as nothing more than a series of crowd-pleasing explosions and gratuitous oozing flesh scenes.

A sequel to the Christmas 2007 smash “Sleet” and 2005’s “Steam”, the film once again follows the exploits of forensic microbiologist Ax Broady (Fiels) and his feisty love-interest, meteorologist Angel Tiegstrom (Anzgt).

Some detractors and hard-core fans are bothered by the return of the Angel character to the trilogy. In “Steam,” Angel died in a shocking and controversial scene that had her skin boiled off.

“Her return makes sense in the story,” McDeke says. “The complainers need to see the movie before they complain. And then they can f— off.”

[warning: spoiler alert] LA Times critic Klaus Mahler is skeptical, “‘Steam’ was more than a BM, it was a steamer. ‘Sleet’ made me want to ‘sleet’ my throat. And now we’ve got this sweat-drenched cacophony of talking funguses from outer-space and a bizarre conspiracy involving Neptune, the Roman god of water. I can’t wait.”

Despite the critical opposition, fans are bursting with excitement. “When it’s a BM, you’ve got to go, baby,” exclaimed Van Paynze, who was an avid McDeke enthusiast long before he was picked for this film.
. . . Read on »

Heavily Marketed Action Pic Expected To Do Well

Hollywood (PFM):

That movie you wanted to see opened this weekend to rave reviews and long lines.

The intelligent, intense non-stop thrill ride, starring that arrogant asshole that can’t keep his fucking dick in his pants when it comes to other men’s wives, is expected to make over $100 million this weekend.

Dressed in attire worn by the trilogy’s most recognizable characters, fans of all ages lined up early. Some theaters reported seeing costume clad losers gathering outside their doors as early as Wednesday.

This movie is so huge they’ll have to wipe the theater seats after every showing thanks to fans pissing themselves in excitement.

Earnings for this work of genius will be big. The cast and director have endlessly sucked up airtime on every network. Entertainment news shows have fawned over the leading lady’s clothing, hair and sexual history. And who doesn’t envy the leading man as he bangs his way through Hollywood?

The handsome and charismatic male lead is box office gold thanks to a string of incredibly fortuitous role choices. Playing beloved comic-book heroes, sympathetic villains, and his tear-jerking performance as a cancer stricken boxer that lives just long enough to win the world heavyweight title, the actor has never shied away roles that can be inflated by marketing, hype, and manufactured controversy. . . . Read on »

I Bet They Show This Trailer In Hell

This is either the worst book to film adaptation ever. Or this is the worst trailer ever. Either way, don’t bother watching this trailer unless you’re in need of some sleep.

The book by Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, was genuinely funny. As twisted as a slinky in a garbage disposal — but funny.

Based on this trailer, it looks like another lame National Lampoon* knock-off made by a couple guys from your high school with an expensive camera and too much parental encouragement as children.

Maybe they can rush it back into the studio and add some Neil Patrick Harris cameos so at least it’s got a Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle chuckle factor.

But judge for yourself. Go see it September 25th and let us know what you think. Or don’t.

* National Lampoon has been given a free ride to churn out crap ever since they won an audience with Animal House and Vacation 30 years ago.

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