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June 2011
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Bob Hope Returns From Grave To Entertain Troops

Hope teams with Jon Stewart to entertain USS Ronald Reagan

Aboard USS Reagan, At Sea (PFM): Gen. David Petraeus, commander of U.S. Central Command, emceed an entertainment spectacular this weekend aboard the USS Ronald Reagan (CVN 76).

Beloved 20th century comedian and vaudevillian Bob Hope was resurrected for the USO event that included a rare stand-up performance by Jon Stewart and a short burlesque dance routine by a scantily clad USFL cheerleading squad.

“Some of these sailors, and the soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq, have been hearing the same things for nearly 8 years,” said Gen. Petraeus. “This show will remind them that persistence, fortitude, holding a strong and steady course, these things can keep you going even when hope seems gone. We have to keep hope alive. No pun intended.”

… Madonna’s love affair with a dildo enchanted the nation in 1992 …

More than 2,300 sailors surrounded the stage, sat atop aircraft, or watched from “vulture’s row” six floors above the carrier’s flight deck to get a glimpse of the spirit-rousing show.

Hope, who hasn’t performed live material for nearly a decade, regaled the sailors with a seemingly endless supply of Boy George jokes.

“Yeah, I didn’t know Boy George was that big of a deal,” said Lt. Keisha Hayes of Reagan’s reactor division. “But that funny old ghost just kept on and on. Like he was possessed or something. It was a sight to see.”

After about 30 minutes of side-splitting Boy George hilarity, Hope handed the stage over to Stewart with one last poke at the former Culture Club pop-star, “Yeah Jon, I hear when they built Boy George they used you for a blueprint.”
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