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July 2009
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Sweden's Got Talent

We have no idea what these people are saying. But we know something about this performance just ain’t right.

Don’t worry. This isn’t adult viewing. As you’ll see by the audience.

Why Norm Macdonald Is Talk Show Gold

This is classic Norm Macdonald. He’s not always the best stand-up comedian. But his interviews are always funny, packed with quick wit and clever observation. He has never done an interview that isn’t brutally honest and controversial. This clip is one example. And uncharacteristically free of “offensive” words … kind of.

It takes about a minute and a half to get into it. Norm already sat for his appearance on Conan’s Late Night and he’s moved over for Courtney Thorne-Smith. She had recently made a movie with Carrot Top. Perfect set up for Norm.

Grocery Store Averts Famine By Stocking More Food

Centerville, July 27 (PFM): A famine may have been narrowly avoided by a weekend delivery of fresh fruits, condiments and cereal products to Sully’s Pantry, a local supermarket.

A source with intimate knowledge of store operations, who has requested anonymity, stated that an overnight blitz of store activity has greatly reduced the imminence of a widespread famine for at least a week.

Fear within the community has been pervasive after a rumor circulated claiming that Sully’s bread aisle was nearly empty. “The only white bread left was a smashed package of Mrs. Baird’s,” shopper CeeCee Aames reported.

Although specialty whole grain loaves and assorted rolls, buns and raisin bread were found in abundance, the scarcity of nature’s most necessary foodstuff, white bread, sent shockwaves through the community.

Aames further reported that the only Tater Tots to be found were “those nasty store brand ones that taste like greasy poop. And forget about the cottage cheese; it was that non-fat health food junk.”

Sully’s has taken steps that will reduce the likelihood of short-term food shortages. Check out lines have been slowed to a snail’s pace in an effort to discourage hording, while the deli continues to stock product long after its natural expiration date in order to ensure the cases remain full.

. . . Read on »

Bud Light Ad

This is kinda funny.

“You’re gonna need a safe word. And it shouldn’t be ‘more’.”

Dramatic Chipmunk

This is a 5 second video. Sometimes you have to click the || pause button at the end to avoid an ad.

This Is What the Bear Probably Looked Like

Yes, this report is intended to be funny. But it’s a real story … and actually was reported by Todd Meany at WJW Fox 8 Cleveland. According to Meany’s profile, he plays harmonica and sings with his band, Ace Molar. His favorite movies are “The Blues Brothers” and “Caddyshack.” His favorite food items are the turkey sandwich at Panini’s and the carnitas burrito from Chipotle.

This piece will probably go on Meany’s audition reel for The Daily Show.

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